HOW TO IDENTIFY A GOOD LIFE PARTNER EVEN BEFORE PROPOSAL(you only need to make one choice)

The choice of a marriage partner is a very crucial decision to make. Marriage can make or unmake you. Such vital decision in life needs more attention and vigilance than what we actually give it. We have left probability and luck to take it course in the choice of a marriage partner. Thus the saying, "if you are lucky, you will get a good wife/husband". In other words, just make a choice and you may pick the right one. OK! What if you are not lucky? Then you are going to live your life in misery. Such a critical decision is too risky and unreasonable to be left on the scale of probability and luck. It is not a game, it's a life and death decision and you might end up ruining your life. Why don't you create your own luck where you are assured of getting the best marriage partner for yourself instead of letting probability decide. There is a saying that "luck is a dividend of sweatsweat, the more you sweat the luckier you get". Luck is worked. Don't choose a wife/husband because that is  how everybody does it. The fact that so many people are doing it does not make it the right thing to do. These steps will not take you through the normal way, but it will guide you through the right way to make the right choice. All four tips are to be followed in the order in which it has been arranged.

Appearance and attraction

This is where most people confuse themselves and call it love at first sight. You can refer to lust and love(love at first sight) to read more on love at first sight. Appearance and attraction is the first thing that occurs upon meeting a potential marriage partner. There will be no love without attraction and there will be no attraction without positive appearance. Choose someone who is much appealing to your eyes. The way he/she looks and dresses should attract you. How a person dress and appears tells something about his/her behavior. So if he/she is so much attracted to you in dressing and in looks, that means the two of you have some common values, and there is the likelihood that you will like something about her behavior also. You should be careful not to be influenced by your colleagues or other third parties. It's good they give you advice but you should also understand that we all have different priorities and thus different ways of assessing situations. You are the one looking for a life partner and not your colleagues therefore do it your own way. Advice should be taken from worthy sources but should be tested and proven. Advice is meant to give you  more information to help you make a choice. Like all other informations, it can be accurate or inaccurate, and that is why it should be tested and proven. Take advice but don't let it be the sole determinant of the choice you make, no matter who it is coming from. Unlike behavior, appearance is nothing hidden. OK, now you've seen this person, he/she is attracted to you. It now time to find out more.

Make him/her your friend and don't give yourself any chance to love him/her

Yes, this is not how everybody does it. Let me tell you how they do it. A man will meet a woman and if he finds her attractive, he will go forward and propose. The lady then accepts the proposal and they will enter into a relationship together and claim they are studying themselves. Some even end up having sex and do all kinds of things with the person they claim to be studying. By the time the studying will be over, results may be poor but both of them will begin to feel that they have gone too far to return.The next thing is they either get hurt on the way or they end up with the wrong person in marriage because their minds become corrupted and unable to assess the other party properly. If you don't want to end up this way, then this is what you should do. After knowing that he/she is attracted to you, make him/her your friend. You are in the best position to assess his/her behavior as a friend. Don't let him/her know your intentions else he/she might fake his/her behavior around you. Let me ask you this question, will you ever wear a dirty cloth to your boyfriends house? I guess your answer will be no. You will always try to be the best you can around your boy/girlfriend. So how will you know he/she is dirty since he/she doesn't act like that around you. The only way you can see is to first be his/her friend. He/she will not be aware you are studying him/her and will not have any tendency to hide anything. You will get him/her at his/her natural behavior.

You maybe wondering why I said don't give yourself the chance to love him/her. When you love the person before assessing her behavior, your emotions are affected and your mind is corrupted. When this happens you will not be able to rationally assess the behavior. That is what happens when you enter into the relationship  before assessing his/her behavior.  You might even get to know the person is having some kind of behavior which you don't like, but you will still find it difficult to let this person go because your emotions are corrupted. That is where people give excuses like; "love covers all things, I will take her as she is", but after marriage, love will not cover all things and they will be filing for a divorce. Love is a bond that is created as a result of constant interaction. It does not change a bad behavior. When you continuously play and interact with a mad man you will begin to have some kind of love for him. Does that change the fact that he is a mad man? No! Don't deceive yourself. A goat will always be a goat, no matter the love the owner will give it. Don't marry someone and expect their behavior to change because it will never change, go directly for what you want.

How can I decide not to love him/her
until I am ready? I know you want to ask that. Well, that is simple. Let look at the definition of love again. Love is the bond that is created as a result of continuous interactions. Love is not magical as others claim it is, you can always choose who to love and when to love. You will always know you are falling in love. Love grow as interactions grow. To reduce the risk of loving him/her, you will have to reduce the rate and the manner in which you interact with him/her. Don't spend so much time with him/her. Let a third party be involved in your interactions. Try not to get too much acquainted with him/her.  It might be hard since he/she is attracted to you but it is worthing. It is your life partner we are talking about here. If you choose wrongly, you are going to leave  a wrong life. You are doing all these to be in the best position to assess his/her behavior.

Values and behavior

There is one thing that I first want you to understand here. You are looking for the right person, and not a perfect being because you are not perfect yourself. The person may be having some bad behaviors which you don't like, but it should be something you can cope  and not something you intend to change. If you can't cope with it, then there is a big NO. That is why you must also know yourself. Behavior is simply how a person reacts to a particular stimuli. How does he/she react when he/she doesn't have money? How does he/she react when he/she gets money? How does he/she react when he/she is offended? How does he/she react when he is happy? These and many more tells the behavior of a person. Unlike appearance, behavior is difficult to read, but there will always be a hint about a persons behavior. You might  not know what is inside a parcel, but its shape, size and weight will tell you something about what is inside. Take a car covered with a tarpaulin for instance. You may not be there when the car was being covered but you can tell what is under the tarpaulin at the look of the shape. I have stated earlier that, even a person's appearance tells something about his/her behavior. This time around, it's not going to be difficult for you because you are not blinded by love. If you find anything you can't cope with in the behavior of the person, that is a red card. It will not be difficult to let the person go because you've got nothing to lose. If you are okay with his/her behavior, proceed to the next level.

Make your intentions known to him/her (proposal).

It now time to go for your husband/wife. You've done a great job, it now time to go for him/her. You don't need to need to worry about love. Once the attraction is there. The love between the two of you will grow as you begin to intensify your interactions.

If you can spend so many years in school and endure a lot of hardship just because you want to establish yourself in life, then choosing a life partner also worth that effort.

 

GOOD LUCK

WHEN SHOULD A MAN MARRY (biblical response)

When to marry is as important as who to marry. Even when you know you can marry at your age, this question will still come to your mind. Yes, you are of age so when will you marry? Marriage was instituted by God and the bible gives a clear definition as to when a man can marry(Genesis 2:15-24).

The bible teaches 4 basic conditions a man must satisfy before he can consider himself ready for marriage.

Be in the presence of God
Before Eve was made for Adam, he was in the Garden of Eden. Eden was a spot on earth where God covered with his presence and kept Adam. Eden simply means the presence of God. When man sinned, God removed his presence and there was nothing called Eden again. That is why no one can tell where Eden is till now. Eve met Adam in the garden of the presence of God(Eden). If you want to marry, then you should be in the presence of God.

Have an occupation
God did not just place Adam in the Garden of Eden, he also gave him work to do. Genesis 2:15, "the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." Before Eve entered the seen, Adam had an occupation. You need to have a work doing before you marry. You don't have to be necessarily rich, but you need to have something doing.

Be ready to heed to advice and instruction
Marriage is a covenant and a contract we make with another person. Upon entering into the covenant we vow to accomplish some tasks and obey certain instructions. Your spouse becomes part of you. You will have to consider her advice in every move you make. When you marry, you bind yourself with a number of rules and moral expectations which you must be ready to comply. God gave Adam instruction before he made Eve for him. Genesis 2:17, "but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil..." God gave him his word to guide his conduct in the Garden of Eden. If you cant listen to advice and follow simple instruction, you cannot marry because marriage is an instruction in it self.  

Be ready to protect and cultivate your wife
To cultivate a woman means to make her yours. Dr Myles Munroe once said "the kind of woman you want to marry does not exist, she is in your head." God is so wise, he created the raw materials and gave us wisdom to  make for ourselves the finish goods that we need. All the women you see out there are raw materials for you. All you need to do is to pick one and cultivate her onto that kind of woman you want her to be(the woman in your head). 

Read: How to choose a marriage partner

Genesis 2:19, "God created all the beast of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to man to see what he will name them." God had already created a lot of things and named them himself. He could have named the birds and the beast of the sea himself. But he wanted to test the ability of Adam to cultivate things to his desire before a woman can be given to him. Adam even named his wife himself. He cultivated her into his liking.
Men have the responsibility to protect their wives. That explains why they are given big muscles. If you want to marry, you must be ready to protect your wife and keep her from harm.

These are the four basic requirements a man should meet before he can marry. All other matters are secondary and are subject to these four requirements. When you are 25years, age will tell you that you can marry, but ask yourself these questions; Are you in the presence of God? Do you have a work doing? Are you ready to take instruction? Can you also protect your wife?

After God gave all these things to man, he said "it is not good for the man to be alone." Who is this man?. The man who is in the presence of God, have an occupation, listen to advice and can protect his wife. If you don't have all these things, then it good for you to be alone.